Someday …

I’ll always be Lunar … 🌙

What I would change about Yu Yu Hakusho…

Question: If you could change anything in the Anime, what would you change and why?

My answer: I’d want Karasu to be redeemed, and changed into an ally, understanding he doesn’t have to k*ll what he likes and loves. Not paired with Kurama, though. Just an ally who got the therapy he needed. Why? Because he’s my favourite character, and he’s redeemed in my imaginary world. Lots of potential to his character.

My amber brown eyes.

My eye colour…my eyes sometimes look two different shades of brown. I say they’re amber brown, or like root beer. 🤎

My hair and eye colour.

Uncle Dave messaged me to let me know my cousin Sarah wanted to know what colour my hair and eyes are. I said I have dark chocolate brown hair, and amber brown eyes. Then added I have white strands at the front of my hair. I thought she was drawing me. UD said he doesn’t know, but thanks for the picture for the hit man… wut o.o;; (…he’s a goofball. Guess I’m joining my unofficial twin Adrian with being targeted by a hit man, ha!)

… oh, and I change my hair colour so much, so that’s probably why Sarah asked, plus we haven’t seen one another in a while. And nobody really pays attention to eyes so natural to ask that too.

🐦‍⬛ The Crow and the Butterfly 🦋

I ordered a replacement for my Karasu wedding ring 💍 a butterfly 🦋 for Nabi and K in a ♡ for our names, since i accidentally broke my last one.

The subject of dating came up at church ⛪ (I had been talking about my brothers, hahaha *laughs in sweetiebird*) … so I guess I’ll add here this ring 💍 doubles as my promise ring 💍 to save myself until marriage … I’ve never dated, and am not ready to do so, as I’m working on my mental health, and still getting on my feet as a young adult, albeit a late bloomer, but that was beyond my control due to…complicated family issues, but I digress.

Having a nice day! =^.^=

Having a nice day so far. 😌 I went to church after seeing Micky in the morning since he worked later today. Then I was hanging out at lunch at church. Had a nice conversation with an older woman. She remembered I want to work on graphic novels, as I’m an artist and creative writer. She told me about her grandchildren reading The Adventure Bible, which is a graphic novel series about The Bible – I’m intrigued, and want to check it out too! 😋 I’m also anxious and excited about my baptism next Sunday … and nervous about how can i help out in church. The Pastor I studied under for my baptism suggested the nursery / daycare as I love children, although I don’t have much experience. I would like to work with children, aside from my graphic novels and art and stories, or become a baker and florist with a bakeshop-flowershop-bookshop combination with weekly art meetings and pastries focused on special dietary needs like celiac, gluten intolerance, vegan, keto, and such, or maybe a nurse, although i originally wanted to be a doctor (i actually wanted to be a pediatrician since I adored mine so much as a wee one) … anyways a friend at church who does so himself said if I want to be a nurse, I could get a feel for it by volunteering first at the hospital like he does. I’m not sure what I want for my future, aside from my art and stories. I’ll probably work towards SSI disability first, with SAGA cash assistance in the meantime. But Robbie said his girlfriend’s mom could help him and me get an high-school education, and Robbie said I could do it online, which helps cos I’m easily overwhelmed and super shy and awkward cos of my social phobia, aaa … like Pinoko-chan in Black Jack, eee ^^;

my blushy face ♡

me when i see my Hubs Karasu and other times my first boyfriend Steven / Android 17 ♡ @steven_juunanagou

Numb

I’ve become so numb
I can’t feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I’m becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you

In the end …

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter

More thorns

Wildflower/wild rose here♡

I am Karasu’s Wild Rose … 🥀

Scars to your beautiful … ♡

Like Seolha, I, too, have a ruined face what with my butterfly rash i’ve had for 13 years … yet even with all my scars and imperfections, my own Prince Charming (Karasu) still finds me “the beautifulest” as he says in his words♡

(Video Share) 5 Incredible Angel Encounters That Changed People’s Lives

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7C3HmrnRAE

I think I may have had at least two encounters with angels, one where I fell down a flight of stairs as a child. My parents had the door removed while working on our apartment, and I had a habit of leaning against the door while looking into the kitchen to talk with my Mom and Dad. I ended up falling down the stairs, and not a scratch was found! I wasn’t hurt. I remember seeing an old man in the doorway downstairs leading outside the house, but there was nobody there my Mom said when we later reflected upon this event. He didn’t match anyone in the family who had passed away either. Another time, as a young adult, I was trying to keep up with my family in deep snow and slipped on ice – I would have slipped right out into traffic, except I felt a strong hand on my shoulder hold me back, and I was safe, but stunned as cars sped by right in front of me. There was nobody near me. Otherwise, I have dreamt of my Grandpa who came to bring flowers to Gramma for her birthday, and told me this would be her last birthday. She died the following year a few weeks before what would have been her next birthday. That was the only time I remember dreaming of my Grandpa, too. He died when I was a toddler, and Gramma died when I was 24. The hand holding me back was the same year I turned 24 too, now that I think about it. I went on to be diagnosed with psychosis at 27, but did have interesting visions/hallucinations of angels and demons before being treated, but what I shared above I believe to be the most credible, for myself personally, in reflection.

Misfit me♡

This is very me♡

My twinsy Micky said to me about this artwork,

“Like Neil Gaiman says, nobody can tell the stories you tell, nobody thinks the thoughts that you think”.

Art by catcrumb on Tumblr.

Life update, groups and such

Today was the second day of the women’s trauma group, run by my social worker, every Thursday morning. Heavy stuff, but I believe I did well, considering what came up. We’re going by a PTSD workbook specifically for women.

I also finally attended the depression group again this past Tuesday morning, I used to go in person before COVID. Glad they’ve gotten groups back up and running again, even if via Zoom. Also going by a workbook. I love learning from both groups, and having homework exercises!

Micky lets me borrow his laptop, which has xfinity wifi on it. Just too bad he didn’t remember the login deets, so it’s just his laptop, lol. I broke the Comcast internet box by a derp. ^^;

I also saw my APRN last Friday, we increased my medication, and such. I talked quite a bit, as July had been a very busy, very rough month. She also told me that getting up too quickly and blacking out, feeling dizzy, and fainting, and such is common, especially in petite people like me (so, I’m a petite pony, petite ponaayyyy), so I don’t have to worry, she just said get up slowly and stay hydrated (and warned me that my medicine for nightmares does add onto this, although like I told her, I’ve had this issue forever), but she did advise me to see my primary care doctor at the least about hitting my head last Wednesday. (Thankfully I feel better this week.)

I’ll get to see my social worker one on one on Monday. I haven’t seen her in a while, but basically, without going into details, what I’ve been working on is that I’m trying to find my own identity, who I truly am before anyone or anything told me who to be, as I burn off old wood that’s not me anymore, or, heck, never was me in the first place! And how I compartmentalize aspects of myself into imaginary figures (ie. my shadow aka sexual side, going back to my early teen years, and whose most recent role was Karasu’s prostitute from his past, who I call his “ex” to simplicity shit).

Speaking of imaginary figures, I’m noticing my sweet, adorable Crow Goblins are clingy with me and Daddy … guess that’s my inner child talking, trying to communicate something. ♡