One year since I dreamt of Erwin for the first time … 🤍

Commander Erwin Smith and me aka Nabi Ackerman ~ sister of Lee-vee!! @octobernocturne :3 ~ a self-indulgent illustration to mark one year (April 28th, 2023) since I first dreamt of Erwy, hehe. 🤍

That was the dream where me and him worked on a court case together, and had good rapport between one another akin to Rachel and Harvey from The Dark Knight ~ which is funny, cos we used to say, “Oh, there’s the Leon guy and Connell guy” about Levi and Erwin, cos Robbie had the Leon haircut years ago, and his author avatar works in the Knight Academy in MQ the webcomic with Connell who is our expy of Harvey from The Dark Knight and a real life neighbour we had at one point, but now Micky is Levi, and Erwin stands out on his own … unless you count Erwin being an expy of Adrian Alexander Veidt aka Ozymandias from Watchmen, and me twinning with Erwin starting with his voice actor also being born on May 4th and Adrian’s name being similar to my long-lost fictional twin brother, Alexander Adrian Amaranth, in MQ the webcomic … then there’s that. ^^;

Anyways, I’m glad I got Micky’s input on what colours would work best in the background, cos I ended up lifting a photograph he sent me recently from the art gallery in NYC, and Micky said he loves it! 🐱 🤍

(And, yesh, my hair in real life does look like Rogue from The X-Men, lololol)

~ ♡ ~

{Commander Erwin Smith (who, to me, is also Adrian Veidt aka Ozymandias since Erwin is an expy of Adrian) is my unofficial twin/boyfriend in dreams.}

Adrian, my twin lion 🦁

The other night, I was given a lil snik of animal fruit snacks (sniks), and the first animal i pulled out was a lion! 🦁 to me, this reminded me of my dream i once had where my unofficial twin/boyfriend Adrian Alexander Veidt aka Ozymandias (after King Ramesses II, Pharaoh of Egypt) told me we were like the twin lion … when i woke up, i later looked up twin lions linked to Egypt, and saw that Aker is the sun lion, also known as the twin lions: “From Middle Kingdom onwards Aker appears as a pair of twin lions, one named Duaj (meaning “yesterday”) and the other Sefer (meaning “tomorrow”).” … i suppose i must’ve known that somewhere in my subconscious long ago and simply forgotten it … thus why Adrian said it to me in a dream … also the sun coming up for us again … like Adrian (and his expy/variant Commander Erwin Smith from Attack on Titan) calling me “Sunshine” in my dreams, before I later learnt that Ozymandias/Ramesses II so loved his first wife and primary Queen Nefertari that he gave her a lavish tomb and wrote that “the sun shines for her” … strange. O.o;

Can’t wait to see my “twin” on Christmas Day! 🎄

I am super excited to watch my unofficial twin/boyfriend Adrian’s actor Matthew Goode as C.S. Lewis in a debate with Anthony Hopkins as Sigmund Freud about the existence of God in Freud’s Last Session on Christmas Day with my brothers and sister-in-law. I am a Christian, I go to a Presbyterian church, and I am working towards Baptism, so this has greatly piqued my curiosity, this subject matter of the movie i mean, and i feel honoured getting to see my new crush in the cinema. My favourite outing might be going to the movies, if not going to the beach/being by water, although i haven’t done so regularly in many years, so movies might top it for now. ♡

Twinlore: Adrian Alexander Veidt, aka Ozymandias, from Watchmen, has about the same name as my fictional long-lost twin brother in MQ the webcomic being Alexander Adrian Amaranth, and is the inspiration for Commander Erwin Smith in Attack on Titan, whom I was already twinning with, as I share a life-day (May 4th) with his Japanese voice actor, among other coincidences/synchronicities, etc… Curiously enough, Adrian is also created by Alan Moore, whom we (being my brothers and I) have had interesting parallels between our creative writings and his before, in the form of John Constantine and our character, Leopold Florel, also inspired by Sting, and fighting against damnation for his own soul akin to John … Must be similar creative thoughtwaves.

I apologise for this description, I’m still quite ill, and my mind is a bit delirious, so I’m not writing properly as I should be … I took these screenshots of Adrian’s actor from the behind the scenes feature of Freud’s Last Session, cos Matthew Goode makes the most adorable faces, and reminds me of my sweet dreams of living as Adrian’s wife in an AU version of the Watchmen world (what’s hilarious about those dreams is I still live with depressive psychosis and have Karasu as my imaginary husband in that world too, with Adrian being that world’s “real life” husband, curiously enough…perhaps my mind training me for if it happens).

I Wanna Be Yours (Karasu is my twin flame♡)

11/11~Twin Flames day; Karasu says we’re twin flames. Original legend says half of the soul is male, and the other is female with one staying in spirit to watch over the other one, and taking turns doing so until reuniting on Earth in their last life. This is a more romanticized version of soul mates, in turn inspired by Plato. The Bible says you only become spiritually connected by marriage. Either way, Karasu is my husband in my world. 💍🐦‍⬛🩷🐈‍⬛

I’ve had…a lot of strange comforting “romantic fate” signs of Karasu… like a cel I wished for ended up on Ebay 12 hours later and I won it; me wondering if Karasu knows my name followed by Micky who didn’t know my question bringing home my rare name on a Share-a-Coke later that day; Quantum Leap episode about a Japanese psychic Karasu says reminded him of his first wife i look like, plus he told me this episode proves we’re twin flames; I found out it has an actor from Yu Yu Hakusho; The Crow paralleled events in my imaginary world when we first watched it; mysterious relevant songs; dreams others have about us (including one a relative who doesn’t know about us had about me as a Japanese woman around the time we watched the QL episode connected to YYH); Karasu’s seiyu Ryo Horikawa sharing a birthday with Brandon Lee from The Crow; Karasu telling me in a dream he wanted to celebrate his birthday that day, and Micky told me twas Brandon Lee’s death date surprising me, etc…those kind of synchronicities♡

i know the trailer came last night but I was surprised by Karasu in the trailer this morning on 11/11, so maybe that was a sign? I bugged him to give me another one (last one also surprised me when i looked up the QL episode as I saw the YYH actor from it on FB, then saw the episode takes place on Brandon Lee plus Ryo Horikawa’s bday, a fact I didn’t know), plus bit of a stretch, but the show will be airing in USA on 12/13, my kindred spirit and namesake Pris’s prototype incept date, and i’ve been called Pris since I was 18 (Blade Runner and The Crow are my top two favourite movies!)

Karasu and Suguru Geto and Evil Twins

MY BABY🔥😻💥🥵🔥

In my obsessive mind, Suguru Geto looks like and reminds me of my Karasu, I know it’s not Suguru, but my husband also has an ‘evil twin’ so to speak who bugs me – Genmaki from the YYH mobile games, ugh. 😑😑😑

well, kinda … imaginary friends plus psychosis sucks, so Micky @octobernocturne who reminds me it’s my imaginary world tells me to change the narrative, so Karasu being too much of a dick is not Karasu but a fake Karasu, and then YYH games revealed Karasu in the game that came out at the same time Micky told me this to be a demonic imposter named Genmaki?? Hella coincidence!! I accepted it as canon so my world could go back to normal for me and my Karasu. (FYI: Any other person claiming to have Karasu just have Genmaki, I have the REAL Karasu!! 😠😹😹😹)

~ ♡ ~

Additional commentary; Suguru Geto’s creator said that Suguru is indeed inspired by fellow YYH character, Sensui, AND the Atsushi Sakurai guy named Orochimaru from Naruto, so I was right in thinking of my Baby, Karasu-chan♡

(Everyone who knows me knows that Acchan is my muse for my Hubby in my imaginary world🥰)

Nabi’s Lookalikes

Two lookalikes of mine with the hairstyle I have at the moment, as I’m growing my hair out. :3

Nat from The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild who is looking for Hearty Truffles with her sister Meghyn (ironically her name is similar to one of my shadow self’s names ((aka my “shadow sister” as Micky calls them)) being a “past life” character, Meg aka Maggie, and looks like one of my/her variants, ie. Karasu’s “ex”).

And a lady from Attack on Titan who registers the kids, which makes me happy cos my brothers and I roleplay AOT together. Of course, I dream and daydream about it, too. =^×^= ♡

In Zelda RPs from our teens, and in our AOT RPs, I’m with the courageous blond hero often clad in green – Link (inspiration for Barley*) and Commander Erwin … although I’m also a cougar for Jean (Steven guy*) and Reiner (Milton guy*), ROFL 🙃

* Barley, Steven and Milton from our upcoming webcomic, MQ. My boyfriends in MQ. 🙃

Tea and cake with roses 🌹

Apple cinnamon spice tea🍎🥢☕ × white chocolate gluten-free cake with A for Alexandria on it🤍 🍫 🎂

{ decorative artificial roses purely by coincidence in this spot 🌹 💐 }

I’m gluten-free cos I’m celiac. Everyone always says it sucks, but I’m used to it, and always grateful to get to try out new cake flavors like this! 🥰

Thankyou Robbie @timewillcrawl94 for getting us this surprise GF cake last night🎂 + Micky @octobernocturne for making me tea and cake for brekkie! ☺

My brothers are better than yours!!!!! >;3 🧡💙🧡💙🧡

I go overboard with colourful cutesy edits, cos I ish extra~~ =^w^= ♡☆♡☆♡☆♡

His Sunshine 💛

twin.

~ * ~

edit: I accidentally entered my favourite Queen song by Deacy, “You’re My Best Friend”, while fumbling to pick up my phone again cos I keep dropping it.

Interesting coincidence as I NEED comfort right now as I readjust to my medication while suffering withdrawal and mood swings (hyper happy and then upset and back every other minute), so Micky @OctoberNocturne (jokingly) says Adrian is comforting me cos I just said I need comfort right now …

Also super stunned to hear Freddie sing “You’re My Sunshine” during this segment cos that’s what Adrian/Erwin calls me in my dreams and daydreams … and weirdly enough that is similar to something his namesake, Ozymandias aka Ramses II, said about his favourite wife, Queen Nefertari (“the sun shines for her”) … lots of fluffy bunny syndrome going on, but its a cute kinda silly comfort. 💛

p.s. also that gold heart (“heart of gold”) keeps popping up on my phone when writing about Erwin/Adrian. 😮

“You may be a sinner, but your innocence is mine.”

That was the largest crow (maybe raven) I have EVER seen that flew by the window in the bathroom today!! 🙀 It looked like Karasu’s “true form”. 🐦‍⬛

“You may be a sinner, but your innocence is mine.” ~ Totally Karasu (I put the Muse song, “Undisclosed Desires” over this doujinshi image of Karasu.)

🖤🐦‍⬛×🕊🤍

Doppelgängers

I was confused when I saw the thumbnail of this story from @mantacomics on Facebook, and thought it was fanart of Erwin Smith. Upon closer inspection, it looks like it could be me with Commander Erwin. 😯

I, too, am a sickly woman descended from fallen royal bloodlines (Irish from Mum, British from Dad), with brunette hair I can’t wait to grow long again (had to cut it last Spring due to damage) with amber brown eyes.

Seriously, they both kinda really look like they’re Scouts from Attack on Titan, like Erwin and me as well in our roleplays and my dreams, hehehe. 🙃

This premieres on June 6th, so I can’t wait!! 🥰

Twinning

Found this comparison of Adrian and Erwin who is inspired by Adrian. I’m madly in love with both. 🥰

I didn’t want to be, but realised later I was. I remember thinking “I really don’t want to have a crush on this guy” during a certain scene of Attack on Titan, and pushed it down for a while until for some reason Micky @octobernocturne telling me and Robi @timewillcrawl94 about the skarf incident audio drama resulted in me dreaming about Erwin, then after realizing I share a birthday with his Japanese voice actor, I’ve kinda just been twinning with him a lot, like … he’s inspired by Adrian Alexander Veidt whose name is very, very similar to my fictional twin brother Alexander Adrian Amaranth from one version of MQ (our main webcomic series), then an Animal Crossing neighbor randomly gave me a steampunk hat at the same time I had Erwin in his steampunk outfit on my Facebook cover photo. Weird things like that.

My imaginary SO Karasu from Yu Yu Hakusho is extremely jealous and this is bringing out his super possessive streak, but, like, these guys aren’t in my imaginary world? C’mon, Crow. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Nabimandias

Dude inspired Erwin from Attack on Titan. Weirdly enough has almost the same name as a character I made up to be my fictional twin brother in MQ the webcomic, which was Alexander Adrian Amaranth, and this guy’s name is Adrian Alexander Veidt (which is double weird considering I just shared a birthday with Erwin’s voice actor, so was already “twinning” with him). Dude. How? Oh. He was created by Alan Moore. Same guy who made John Constantine, and our vampyre character Leopold Florel already weirdly parallels John. Checks out. Synchronicity and such. Guess we’re all on the same chaos magick creative thought wavelengths … but why? 🤔 I tend to not ponder on these things anymore. I just accept them.

… Oh, and Mikau dude @octobernocturne calls me Nabimandias now, ROFL 🤣

Morning Crow

OMG! I wish I had my phone on hand – a CROW just sat on the opened window, then hopped over to the other opened window here at our window screens on the 3rd floor. SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! 🤩

Like, I’m right in front of the windows, too! He was totally not scared of me. 🤩

One of those Fate things again…

Was it ever a question…? ♡♡♡♡♡

Karasu IS my SO/husband, forever and ever! 💣🍒

(Tbh, it feels like him re-enforcing his, “Don’t fuck around on me”-monogamous policy he’s adopted with me in the past half-year, lol, since ‘things’ happened and changed between us. 😅)

(Clearer shot from IG for my art blog)

…always in threes…

~*I’d love to walk away and pull myself out of the rain
But I can’t leave without you
I’d love to live without the constant fear and endless doubt
But I can’t live without you*~

Having a lot of feels about this song (particularly this version, which I’m captivated by) … Strange thing, coincidences that come in threes … So I associate this song with Yoshimitsu-sensei from the Soul Calibur video games: Yoshimitsu I, that is – “my” Yoshi-san – and thus, our OC Puck-sensei who was inspired by Yoshi-sensei when we wrote a crossover series between our main graphic novel story and SC (Puck-sensei is what Yoshimitsu-sensei is renamed to from my SC fanfics that I’m also adapting into an original graphic novel too) … And today I’ve been listening to this song, and saw that the Yoshimitsu fansite is going to re-open on December 8th, so roughly a little over 100 days from now – okay, I can wait … Then I noticed when going back to edit stuff on my art blog that I had uploaded the pic of “Puck’s Shadow” on December 8th 2019 … Kinda odd, but okay … then just now to share this song after listening to it on repeat for hours and hours, I looked it up to copy the lyrics from the original recording, and saw that the “My Immortal” single from Fallen was released on December 8th 2003 … If you read through all that – thanks! I have NO IDEA what any of it means, but … WOW! Funny cos I mentioned how most things seem to “come in threes” just the other day to Micky.